


“If deaf means I can raed it, then it’s fine”

by K1BO



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Yoo Kihyun, Concerts, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Secret Relationship, Self-Doubt, Soft Lim Changkyun | I.M, Top Lim Changkyun | I.M, bandmates to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 09:24:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15883224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1BO/pseuds/K1BO
Summary: A one shot, nothing special.-Kihyun and Changkyun are in a secret relationship for a month nowand now they have to face their first concert while they are together.Fans scream the names of their ship but ofcourse not the once that Kihyun wants to hear.Changkyun notices and tries to comfort his hyung.





	“If deaf means I can raed it, then it’s fine”

“Showki, Wonki, Kihyuk”

Almost unbearable. The screams of our fandom, our community, our monbebe’s. that we made three years ago. Three years ago where we knew what we would’ve start and not going to quit anytime soon.

“Jookhyun, Changhyuk, Wonkyun”

But those are not the screams we or I want to hear. Others are removing their earplugs to hear you better. Take every word you aim at us, taking them to our hearts but I. I can hear the things I don’t want to hear. I want to be deaf, that’s why I keep them in.

Closing my eyes, bowing my head to the crowd. The concert was almost over, almost time to head backstage, almost the time to be who I really am. Time to do what I want to do.

“Kihyun..”

A tap on my shoulder is what brings me out of my thoughs. Shownu is looking at me, pointing his finger to his ear where I couldn’t see an earplug. He wanted me to remove them too and so I did.

“Yaaaaaaahh monsta x we love you!!”

We started walking around, the final minutes, seconds kicking in. He made me so frustraded, I.M, the maknae who owns my heart, the younger one I look out for, who was walking with the others over the stage waving the monbebe’s goodbye.

“Joohyuk!, Showki!, Hyungwonho!”

I can’t smile at the moment so what can I do then to wave and force a smile. Those are not the names I want to hear.

“Changki...”

That one small voice got my attention. I didn’t recognize that I.M was actually behind me and probably from a good angle we would seem like the couple who want to scream our names out loud but the mic gets demped by our singing voices.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and it was all to familiar for me. The weight, the features of the hand. It was I.M’s, my hand, my boyfriend for almost a month. The feeling on my lower back, getting pushed forward. Him leading my body back to the main stage. We take our places once again, we bow again, we wave again. We say goodbye, again.

“Bye monbebe we love you!!!”

Is what our happy sunshine of the groups says aka minhyuk. Before the curtains in front of us close and everything came to an end. We could rest.

—————————————————————

After an hour I was ready, it was half past 12. Everything was done, cleaned, taken care of.

“Ready hyung?”

The rasp voice of Changkyun fills my ears. I look up to him and smile.

“Ready”

We said out goodbye’s to our members and made the promise to be on time back in the hotel. Leaving the concert building we finally have our alone time.

 

The time we are not used to have so it stays silent.

“Kihyun hyung.. are you okey?”

The concern in his voice, I knew that sound to well, he saw right through me from the beginning. I haven’t been singing on my best, I couldn’t catch the notes I would usually get with eas. I am the main vocal after all right? But I can’t get the right words out of my mouth since he knows that I am not okey.

“What is bothering you hyung?”

No no no don’t even ask I.M. I pick up my pace as we walk further into the park we entered earlier without exchanging words. I don’t want to hear those words.

 

“KIHYUN!”

My moventens are suddenly stopped by the sudden force on my wrists. The force turns me around, making me look up to the body that is the same height as me.

“Why are you crying?”

I didn’t even notice myself until he spoke out those words. A high note seem to rise in my ears as I watch his lips move. I stand there confused, scared, until I feel rain drops falling down on us and the most fearfull words of my life enter my ears to stop the high note.

 

“Am I your problem? Don’t you want to be with me anymore hyung?”

“No!”

I look at the younger who seemed relieved by my fast answer. More guilt rising inside of me for not talking, not explaining that he isn’t the problem. That he is the one to solve the problem instead. That he is actually the problem, not for me, but for you.

“Talk to me hyung, you have been weird during the concert, your singing wasnt as it used to sound, you were not that active with the monbebe’s or us. Did you even know that everyone came to you and pet your head?”

So that was what made my hair look so messy at the end of the concert. When I looked in the mirror my perfectly styled purple hair had became a mess, ruffeled together with sweat.

“I am sorry, it’s not your fault Changkyun, it’s not your fault, believe me okey?”

The grip on my wrist loosen as I see the body passing. While it passes it made my heart rise. Rejection? Was I to late with me answer? But instead I could feel te pressure on my hand, pulling me allong with him, not my full hand. The touch was sliding down to that one finger where you think of how useless it actually is but instead it is the most important finger. The pink.

 

A promise not to let go, the finger that would break easily with a pull. Gently holding it we walk through the park. Changkyun the fake maknae, the real maknae, the english man, the smoll boy, the I.M changkyun belonging to Kihyun. Yoo kihyun and only him. No one knows and no one will.

“Then was it the names? The labels?”

I.M finally turns his head to Kihyun and Kihyun returns the favour.

“How did you know..”

I.M smiles. It been a month since they are officially together. Having a crush on each other for a long time but scared to say it out loud. Scared for the future. Scared for what the others could say but in the end they couldn’t hold it anymore. They became a couple. How? Basically jooheon and minhyuk decided to lock kihyun and I.m up together in their bed room. Faking a scene that they would watch a movie but in the end after I.M entered and Kihyun ,being early as always, was there and the door got locked behind them and it happened.

“I know how you easily can be hurt by words, jokes and sush things and it’s been a month since our last concert so this was our first experience hearing things”

Kihyun lowers his head again.

“It’s normal that I don’t want to hear lies, aren’t you bothered by it?”

“I am, but I became deaf for those words since what I have around my pink is much more important to me then faking it in front of our fandom or the camera’s”

“Changkyun...”

—————————————————————

They don’t change position. The pinkies interwined until Changkyun had led Kihyun, his hyung, back to the hotel. They can’t be themself outside and he read on Kihyun’s face that he wanted to be himself.

They quickly greet the members who are still awake and leaves the onces who are already asleep. Moving to their hotelroom where the door locks. Where they can be themselfs.

I.M leads Kihyun to his bed, tapping his hand as a gesture to sit down and so does Kihyun.

“Hyung you knew what we would have to face, and hear after becoming this. I don’t want you to have any regrets. I will make sure to spend the time with you. Say your name out loud in the way you are mine for the people who already know”

Kihyun’s eyes widen, not expecting this to happen.

“I hurts to hear what you don’t want to hear, but again I am yours so we can litsen to it. Knowing that it is different until the day we go public and everyone will say our names”

Changkyun pulls Kihyun more on the bed who has been flusterd ever since the conversation started.

“I’m sorry for making you doubt over me..”

A gentle touch on his cheek is all Kihyun needs to know that he doesn’t need to say sorry.

“Hyung I don’t doubt you. Instead why did we become all of this? For nothing? No, because I was sure in you and in us”

The maknae his words are a pain in Kihyun’s heart but a good pain. This was the man he loved and wanted to share his future with.

“I.m I love you..”

I.M lowers his head, sometimes kihyun was to straight forwards. Moving his head back up in a smile.

“Cover your ears hyung since you don’t like to hear things”

Kihyun doesn’t think twice and obeys the one he loves. With still the pressure on his cheeks he moves his own hands over his own ears. Not letting his eyes go of the maknae’s face. He doesn’t hear anything but he sees the lips moving.

“I l o v e y o u”

Kihyuns eyes widen. What is I.M making a mess of him. He feels the tears dropping but he smiles. He removes his hands from his ears, swinging them around changkyuns shoulders, taking him closer. He doesn’t have to say or ask or think for what he wants and their lips are meeting.


End file.
